Fertility and infertility are generally not discussed. Most individuals know few details about how the reproductive system works. The whole topic can sometimes feel taboo. One issue that is not taboo but is not talked about is the pregnancy test. Trying to get pregnant is one topic, dealing with the results is another, but what about the moment of finding out? What happens then? Are you sitting in the bathroom? One the phone? The moments afterwards will be the first of your new life, forever changed. How do you want them to unfurl?
Change and the distinction between before and after, this and that, are significant in Judaism and are the basis of most life cycles rituals. One moment you are single, the next you are married. One moment you are a child, the next you are an adult. There is no moment when you can say if you are pregnant or not. However, the moment it becomes known is very easy to determine: the home pregnancy test or the blood test. When it comes to fertility treatments, its the blood test and the phone call. No matter the result, you are different after it then before it. The rite of passage is from the unknown to the known. The ritual is the pregnancy test.
As with other transitions, you can prepare by asking yourself about where you are now and what you imagine it will feel like to know. What are your intentions for your response? Many people simply can’t imagine, or are afraid to imagine because of fear. But can you imagine how you want to respond? Can you identify the emotions you think you will feel? This is not necessarily to script yourself, but to prepare yourself for the reality that it will happen. Prepare your mind, heart and body for a response versus a reaction. Jumping for joy or screaming in rage are valid responses. Crying, either way, is a valid answer too.
This moment will be real. You will know. You imagined this for so many other important transitions in your life. Imagine this too.