Purim is a holiday where everything is turned upside down. Ruler’s are inept and common people lead. People and situations are not who or what they seem. Masks came to represent the hidden themes of the story.
The connection between Purim masks is often used today to talk about hidden identity or various private issues. This is true to the original story and to many modern issues. Infertility is something that involves a lot of hiding, but not in the way you may be thinking. You may go through your days giving Academy Award winning performances concealing from other people what you are going though. However, they are not the only ones you are hiding from. Many people are hiding from themselves. Many people are also not going through what they think they are going through.
What?
Sometimes you can be so focused on what you are keeping from others, that you may ignore when you are hiding from yourself. For example, you may put on a brave to convince yourself you can handle what is happening, or push yourself into the next step you are not sure you are ready to do, or to keep trying everything until you have a baby. But what you really need is to take a break, for a day, a month, or more. You also need to listen to yourself and be sure (enough) of your next step. And you need to respect your own boundaries to keep you sane.
One particularly sinister way people hide is ignoring that feeling that, I’m afraid to write it, perhaps you deserve this. You are being punished. So many people are chained and paralyzed by this feeling they brush away and hide. The best thing you can ever do for yourself is to give that thought copious daylight. That one sometimes pops like a balloon when the mask is ripped off. Other times it reveals a complicated story that has built up over time that will slowly crumble when addressed. Sometimes the thoughts belie a theology you realize you don’t actually believe! However easy or challenging a thought like that is to address, it’s best protection has been staying hidden below the surface.
This year on Purim, take a moment to consider the masks you may be wearing. Consider if you are not only hiding from others, which can be useful at times, but if you might be hiding from yourself too.